You know you're a groomer when you have more saliva on your face than in your mouth. You know you're a groomer when you can hack up bigger hair balls than the cat. You know you're a groomer when you come home from work and your dog sniffs you like your his favorite tree. You know you're a groomer when you can have a complete conversation with your dog. You know you're a groomer when every night you blow your nose a dog's coat comes out. You have a 5 o'clock shadow by 11 am. You go to a restaurant and ASK for hair in your food. You pet someone's dog and you catch yourself feeling for mats. You see a good-looking guy walking his dog in the park and you're checking out the dog's haircut. You spend 1/2 hour each evening picking the dog hair out of your elbows, arms, etc. Strange dogs greet you as though you are another dog. You visit a friend and spend the day itching to get their mutt into a bath. Your car has more hair on the seats than on your dog. You catch yourself growling when you get angry. Your dog has a better haircut than you do. You don’t mind standing in doggy-doo while walking in the park. You scratch your head and absentmindedly look for fleas. You communicate better with your neighbors dogs than with your neighbor. When you go to the park, and a guy walks up with a dog and it is a mix breed you tell him what his dog is mixed with. When you cut your own hair at the grooming shop. When you wash your own hair at the grooming shop with dog shampoo. Hey there's nothing wrong with that, right?! You cry when a Standard Poodle comes in matted. Your client's dog comes to visit you, without the client. You think of pet hair as just another source of protein. Your friends and family can never find presents for you that don't hove something to do with dogs and cats. You refer to your dogs as "the kids." You don't mind in the least eating from a pet dish (hey, I washed it). You keep matted pelts and display them as modern art. A pair of scissors drops and you cringe. You know that the most annoying feeling is a hair splinter. You're always keeping an eye out for great sales on stylish clothes - for your dog. You encounter a growling dog on the street and consider it good experience for work to see if you can calm it. If you've ever given your dog or cat fleas.